If you have been following me for some time, you know that I am not afraid of loneliness and on the contrary, I like it. I like being alone, shopping alone, walking alone, and even traveling alone. But, it is not necessarily easy for everyone. Because living everyday alone, for someone who isn’t used to it, can be really difficult. Being happy on your own can be impossible for some people.
So how do you manage to live alone and be happy about it? How do you learn to be self-sufficient and accept your own company? Here are the steps to feeling better about loneliness and being happy alone.
How to be happy alone?
Being happy alone means that you come to accept moments of loneliness, that you are good with yourself and with your own company.
This does not mean that you should isolate yourself from the world, because humans are sociable by nature , it is absolutely necessary for them to establish social links with other people in order for them to feel truly fulfilled.
However, by devoting time alone to doing activities and things that make you feel confident and accomplished, you will come to be happy even if they don’t involve other people. By experiencing joy in solitude, you will no longer need another person to validate your existence.
Don’t have expectations
When we have expectations about the future, we tend to obsess over the slightest change in plans. Life is not a calm river, everything changes, everything moves, nothing is predictable. Accepting it is the best way to experience events well.
Think about the present moment, don’t wonder what will happen tomorrow. Go with the flow, adapt, be flexible, see changing plans not as a failure but as a way to bounce back and embrace a new route. This way of moving forward does not prevent you from having objectives, but keep in mind that the objectives are not made to be absolutely achieved, but to give you a direction.
Don’t compare yourself
There’s always a prettier girl, a blonder couple, a better-known blogger, greener grass next door, a guy with a bigger car, there’s always someone who is/has more than you, it will always be like that.
Instead of comparing yourself and envying what others are/have, ask yourself what makes you happy , see the things you do well, rejoice in what you have, set your own goals without taking others as landmarks, and be happy for others who are happy.
Beware of social media appearances . In our society of appearances, public figures know that they sell better if they look happy and fulfilled, unattainable. Keep in mind that this is only one facet of these people’s lives, controlled, smoothed, filtered, and not a summary of real life. If social media is hurting you, take a step back when necessary and sort through the accounts you follow. Similarly, most people won’t tell you what’s going wrong in their life, but will tend to talk about the things they’re proud and happy about, sometimes to fuel the envy of their interlocutors: always be ready to put things into perspective!
Stay away from social media
Social networks are wonderful tools for expressing and sharing, but they can also be very harmful to your mental health and well-being.
How do you want to experience joy in being alone when your attention is supposedly on the happiness of others?
It’s almost impossible to avoid the feeling of inadequacy that comes from constantly looking at other people’s lives and comparing one’s own.
Social networks like Instagram provide an inexhaustible source of comparison and it is very easy to devalue yourself by looking at the profile representation of other people.
There will always be someone to show you that he has more material goods than you or that he has a more advantageous physique than yours.
Also, when people express their frustrations and dissatisfactions, you unconsciously experience the associated negative emotional charge.
Stepping away from social media allows you to focus on yourself and your own happiness .
Get to know yourself
The best way to ensure that every moment you spend alone is a good experience is to get to know yourself better.
- Have you taken the time to define and find your life goals ?
- What are your deepest fears and desires?
- What events are likely to negatively impact your state of mind?
- By defining the answers to these questions, you will feel happier and more confident in times of solitude.
Stop judging yourself
When it comes to being happy alone, we are often our own worst enemy.
We set ourselves inordinate standards for what happiness should look like, and when we fail to achieve it, we judge ourselves harshly.
The pursuit of perfectionism in everything is one of the things that will fundamentally prevent you from achieving happiness.
It is absolutely not necessary to be perfect or to correspond to an arbitrary ideal in order to enjoy life and be happy.
Any type of self-judgment can lead to feelings of guilt , shame, and anxiety.
These negative emotions can be incredibly damaging and can cause you to dwell on all the negative things in life.
They divert you from the essentials and from what makes you truly happy.
The next time you find yourself judging yourself, remember that happiness starts with yourself and there are no rules in life except the ones you make for yourself.
Accept feeling uncomfortable when you are alone
Many people view loneliness as a bad thing.
They interpret it as a consequence of their inability to form meaningful relationships and connections with others (which is totally false).
It is important to remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with being alone.
It’s even a good opportunity for self-reflection: you can examine your own thoughts and emotions in order to understand who you really are.
You may feel uncomfortable when you are not used to being alone, because isolation is a very scary feeling.
But over time, you will eventually get used to it and no longer feel that sensation.
Do not depend on others anymore
One of the keys to being happy alone is to learn not to depend on the outside world and the people around you.
You don’t have to wait for someone to come into your life to start feeling whole, loved, or trying to find happiness.
Do not define your life according to the gaze and judgment of others.
Only those who learn to appreciate and love themselves unconditionally in all circumstances manage to be truly happy.
Practice positive thinking
Being happy stems from an inner feeling, so you have a great responsibility in its perception.
Practicing positive thinking allows you to enter a mental state that promotes happiness.
In particular, because you build unconscious automatisms that give you emotions of joy throughout your life.
Spend time on your physical and mental health
Improving your physical and mental health should be a priority so that all your energy goes towards things that enhance your happiness.
Whether through exercise, meditation , or simply adjusting your diet, focusing on your health will create a state of internal contentment.
Find your passions
Finding a passion that fulfills you will give you a sense of well-being and strong self-esteem.
It’s a great way to be happy on your own.
You never know what you might like in advance, the best way to do that is to constantly try new things until you find the ones that suit you.
Here are some suggestions on how to find your passions:
- Try new activities
- Think about what you like to do
- Find your talents
- Get inspired by others
Choose the path of personal development
The path of personal development is ideal for feeling happy alone.
Pick an area you want to improve in and dedicate some time to it each day.
You will find that the better you get, the better you will feel about yourself and your life in general.
Not only will you gain more self-confidence , but it will also give you a goal to work towards when you’re on your own.
Daily freedom to be happy alone
To be happy being alone, you have to realize that to be alone is to be free. Free to do what we want , when we want, where we want. If you feel like sleeping late or cooking sooner or later, you are free to do so without disturbing anyone. By being alone, we do not depend on anyone to do what we want. And it’s also one of the keys to happiness: being free on a daily basis and living the life you want to live.
Openness to the world, to others
By being alone on a daily basis, it allows you to open up to others, because it is not possible to lock yourself in your comfort zone which can sometimes be those close to you. Being alone allows you to open up to others and therefore to be happy.
The definition of his life project, his objectives
Being alone also allows us to define our life line , what we really want. Setting goals and life projects is an aspect that allows you to move forward and be happy in your daily life. Indeed, not knowing which direction to take can be difficult to live with on a daily basis. Take a few minutes alone with yourself and think about your life projects. You can set life goals with a vision board, if that’s easier for you.
The positive side to be found in those close to you
To be happy alone, the relationship with your loved ones must be healthy. Get toxic relationships out of your life that ultimately won’t make you happy on a day-to-day basis and won’t allow you to enjoy your own company. You must also get out of your life negative people, who see everything black and who do not know how to appreciate small pleasures. Also get out of your life people who never know how to congratulate and compliment you. Your loved ones are supposed to be people who are there for you, who bring you support and, above all, positive things in your life. Finally, you must not need people to be happy, but they must bring you more into your life and only positive, not at least.
